he's not coming. and he barely talks because he doesn't know what to say to me and i feel helpess and i don't know what to do. because there is nothing that i CAN do. i feel pathetic being so torn over someone who i have never met. but its not pathetic at all. because its matt. and its not pathetic because he is amazing and it would be weird if i wasn't in some way disappointed and hurt that i feel so alone and unsure of what to think at this point. i really thought that me and matt had something that clicked. i think that he needs time. im so confused. no idea what to think. taitum is right. we probably tried to make it all happen too fast. i understand the fear in it for him with all of the laws out there and i explained that i wasn't mad and that i can see it all from his eyes and that i understand it all and he still isn't the same. i tried acting like it was the same again. and it still wasn't. and now im scared. im scared that it will never be the same. or that it will never be anything at all again. i must have fell too hard too fast.. thats a new one.. isn't it?