yeah. its tonia. not toneeuh. (newattitude4u) wrote,
yeah. its tonia. not toneeuh.

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this is what i want. im sorry if you don't agree. i can't change the way i feel.

i probably shouldn't be wanting the things that im wanting and i probably shouldn't be saying the things that im saying and i probably shouldn't be doing the things that im doing but the worst part is... i don't even care anymore whats right or wrong because i can't change what i want and sometimes people just have to accept it and move on. i've accepted some things that my friends have done in the past that at the time i didn't understand why they were doing certain things but its what they wanted and i knew that i couldn't change their minds so i gave my opinion and then just accepted it. no one really knows about this yet. i just don't want people freaking out on me for no reason. heck. i don't even know what is going to happen. its all up in my head and thats where its going to stay for now. but probably not for long. i understand that my friends are looking out for me and that's what they're suppose to be doing. and i appreciate it so much. but once something is already over and done with, if the decision is already final, why sit here and critize me about it just to make me feel bad? THAT isn't a friend's job. i can't change my feelings to what my friends think i should be feeling. i just think that its pointless when i have 10 people telling me im stupid while im going out with someone or something really dumb like that. there is no reason for saying something to me like that when its already over and done with. accept it. its all im asking. and i never thought that i was asking for much until i found out it was impossible to get my friends to accept certain things. like my freaking boyfriend at the time. but i don't care anymore. no one has to accept it because its not their life and i may not always have the best judgment but this is something that i think might go in the better direction and im not going to sit around and be sad when i have an opportunity to be happy. i don't know. thats all i have to say i guess. for now :)
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